Camping is Fun!
by Smash King24
Summary: Link makes a bet with Marth to see if he can last a single day out in the wild. Ike goes with him as his witness. Calamity ensues! Note: Not yaoi you sick people. Complete!
1. The Bet

Camping Is Fun!

Chapter 1: The Bet

"Why? Why did we leave the nice, warm mansion and come out here into the wild?" Marth asked his travel companion while fanning himself.

"Hey don't get mad at me, you're the one who got us kicked out here in the first place!" replied Ike who nearly whacked his head off of a nearby tree.

**Flashback **

Marth was sitting on the sofa watching his soap opera on his 200 inch Sony plasma ultra-screen T.V. 5000.2. He was filing his finger nails carefully. Link came into the room, sword and shield on his back.

"Hey, Marth, want to go for a brawl?" he asked.

"Are you kidding? David is just about to confess his love for Marisa! I can't afford to miss this for some silly little brawl!" Marth shot back. Link looked angry.

"Marth,you've been sitting in front of that thing for the past week now! Come on, let's go have a good match on Spear Pillar, no items."

"Link, I already told you, I'm not brawling!" Link folded his arms and stood tall.

"You're coming with me!" Link picked up the remote and turned the T.V. off. Marth dropped his nail filer.

"Hey! Turn that back on!"

"You are one of the most spoiled people I know! You're not in this mansion to watch T.V; you're here to have fun!" Marth stood up.

"I am not spoiled! I'm one of the nicest people here in the mansion!"

"Hey, guys what's goin' on?" Ike walked into the room.

"Ike, tell Link that I am not spoiled," Marth told his friend. Ike smirked.

"Ha! good one, Marth!" He replied. Link looked at Marth with one of those 'I told you so' looks on his face.

"Fine, you think I'm spoiled? I'll prove to you that I am not," Marth shot back proudly.

"Okay, then. If you can last one day in the wild without your sword and any of you're electronics, I'll take back what I said," said Link. Marth smiled.

"That's it? Aw, that'll be easy!" Marth left his sword on the couch and walked out of the living room.

"Come on, Ike!" he said grabbing his friend's cape.

"Wait, why am I coming?" Ike said fighting back against Marth's pull.

"You're coming to witness me prove that I'm not spoiled." Ike looked at Link.

"Good idea. Ike, you're his witness." Ike pulled back on his cape.

"But I promised the Ice Climbers I would have a match with them!" Link rolled his eyes.

"You did not! You don't even like the Ice Climbers!" Ike stopped talking. Link saw through his fib.

"Okay, I'll go..." he said folding his arms while Marth dragged him out the front door of the smash mansion.

"I can't believe I'm doing this for you..." said Ike being dragged down the front steps by Marth.

"You're the one who claims to 'fight for his friends,'" Marth replied.

"This is different." Ike looked up to see Link standing at the front door waving to them.

**End Flashback**

It was all Marth's fault they were out here. Only an hour had past and Marth was already starting to crack up. How was he supposed to last one day? Marth stopped by a tree to rest. "Oh man, we must have walked for miles. I can barely feel my feet," Marth complained. Ike stopped too. He turned around to see a clear view of the smash mansion. They weren't even off of the property.

"Wow Marth. You are pathetic," Ike joked. Marth looked up at his stronger friend.

"Did you bring any water?" Marth asked.

"Uh, no, that's why it's called 'camping'. Everything we find has to be picked form mother nature itself."

"Well, I don't see a lake around here!"

"You're thirsty after that? We didn't even go that far! Look, the mansion is right over there!" Marth ignored Ike's comment.

"Did you bring my extra change of clothes?"

"Um, no. We're only going to be out here for a day."

"Wait, you mean by coming out here, I'm not allowed to have any of the things I normally would in the mansion?"

"Yep. You pretty much summed it up."

"Why didn't anyone tell me that?!" Marth put his head down and sulked. Ike should have expected this kind of reaction to a guy who's been living like a prince his whole life. This guy wasn't a warrior. He was a sissy! Now Ike was trapped out here with him for a whole day! Ike offered his hand to Marth.

"We have to keep going until we get deep in the forest," said Ike. Marth looked up again.

"I don't know if I can do this Ike. I don't know." Ike frowned.

"Marth, if we go back, everyone's going to laugh at us. They'll think we can't do anything on our own! We could become the most least popular characters in Smash history!" Marth eyes opened wide.

"You mean, I wouldn't have any more adoring fans?"

"Um, yeah, you wouldn't."

"And they would kick me out of the mansion for good?"

"Well, no they can't do that, but you could end up being teased by all the other brawlers." An image of Ganondorf laughing his face off appeared in Marth's head. Being mocked by Ganondorf...that would be horrible.

"Alright, then let's get this over with..." Marth stood up.

"Good boy, now let's go." Ike and Marth made their way deeper into the forest.

* * *

Neither of them said anything. Marth was listening to the noises around him. "What was that?" he asked.

"That was a bird chirping," replied Ike.

"Oh..."

"Man, you need to get out more often."

"Hey, Ike, did you bring my hair dryer?" Ike rolled his eyes.

"Why do you keep asking me if I brought you're things? I'm not you're slave!" Marth looked shocked.

"How dare you talk to me that way! I ought to throw you in the dungeon."

"Hey, 'princess', news flash: WE ARE IN A FOREST. There is no castle anywhere for miles, or have you forgotten what you're doing out here in the first place?" Marth began to sulk.

"Oh, the humanity! I hate my life!" Marth fell on the ground dramatically and did not move. Ike was not impressed.

"Okay, then. If you want to stay here and get eaten by the wild bear that hunts out here, that's fine by me." Marth shot up and followed Ike deeper into the forest.

"Wh-What do you mean 'wild bear'?" Ike stopped and turned to the prince.

"They say that a crazed bear lives in these woods. Rumor has it that the bear was abandoned by its parents because it was so ugly. It went on a mad rampage and killed all the people in an innocent village not far from here. Now he hunts in the woods, searching for more easy prey to take out it's anger on." Marth was shaking at the knees.

"B-B-But we're safe, r-right? I mean, you can protect us, can't you Ike?" Ike shook his head.

"The bear only attacks enemies that don't fight back. It is afraid of being hurt. I'm perfectly safe. Ragnell and I can easily intimidate any old bear. But you...you're completely vulnerable to everything. You don't even have you're sword!" Marth was hugging a tree.

"I don't want to go! You can't make me!"

"You're the one that got me stuck out here! You're going and that's that!" Ike grabbed Marth's cape and started pulling. Marth wouldn't let go of the tree.

"Nooo! I want to stay here!"

"Marth let go of the tree!"

"I don't wanna go camping!"

Ike let go.

"Fine, if you want to be a baby, see if I care." Ike walked away, while Marth continued hugging the tree.

"I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home," Marth kept saying to himself. He opened his eyes. Ike was gone. "Ike? IKE? IKE! Don't leave me!"

No answer. Ike had left him all by himself.


	2. In the Forest

Camping is Fun!

**Author's Note:** Sorry if the last chapter was a bit short, I didn't know how to end it but oh well. Enjoy the second and final chapter to Camping is Fun!

Chapter 2: In the Forest

Marth stood tall. "I don't need Ike. I'm a prince! I can take care of myself!" He adjusted the tiara on his head and tried to fix his shiny blue hair up without a mirror. He began walking off in the direction he thought Ike went. "How dare he mock me?" Marth said outloud. "I did not join the Smash Bros. to me mocked. I joined because I thought there would be a lot of women here wanting to get a piece of this!" Marth flexed his skinny muscles. "I should have realized. Next year I'm signing up for the Smash Sisters. Maybe then I'll get the respect I deserve." Marth imagined himself surrounded by beautiful women all wanting to touch him in any way they could. "Now, ladies let's not get frisky here- ow!" Marth woke up from his daydream and looked in front of him to see a tall tree. He rubbed his head where he hit it.

"I ought to have you executed," said Marth. The tree did not reply. "Oh, you're one of those quiet ones, eh?" The tree's leaves blew in the wind, but still made no reply. "I'll give you 3 seconds to make an apology for hitting me. It better be good." The tree did not move. Marth tapped his feet and waited. "Don't tell me this thing can't talk!" The tree seemed to be laughing at him, even though it made no verbal sign at all. "Humph! Ow!" Marth grabbed the top of his head.

An acorn had fallen on him and rolled on the grass below his feet. "What now?" he asked looking up. A brown squirrel looked down at him. It looked sad because it had dropped it's nut. "What are you looking at? You're supposed to bow when you stand before royalty!" The squirrel started to cry. Tear drops landed on Marth's face and shoulders. He quickly wiped it off. "Hey! Stop crying! I demand you to stop this instant!" The squirrel continued to cry. Marth looked down at the acorn and back up at the squirrel. "You want this?" The squirrel seemed happy again and nodded. Marth picked up the acorn. "What do you say?" The squirrel jumped up and down. "What do you say?" Marth repeated. The squirrel seemed antsy and was running around on the small branch it was on. "Where are you're manners, beast!?" The squirrel was not amused anymore. It jumped form it's branch and landed on Marth's face. "Ah! Get off! You'll ruin my beautiful face!" Marth ran around in circles with a squirrel on his face for 5 minutes. He finally had the guts to pull it off and throw it against a tree. "You monster!" Marth yelled at the wounded animal. The squirrel had tears in it's eyes. It ran up the tree and disappeared into the leaves. Marth held the acorn in his hand. "Stupid monster. What is this thing anyway? What made it want to kill me for it? Could it be some rare stone only found in these parts?" Marth examined the nut.

"Maybe I could sell it to someone! I could be richer than I already am!" Marth imagined himself going up to Master Hand and showing him the acorn. Master Hand was so overjoyed that he had a heart attack (however that supposed to work) and fell on the ground dead. "I could own the Smash Bros.!" Marth imagined himself sitting in Master Hands seat, a giant portrait of himself hanging on the wall behind him. "I won't need to take crap from nobody!" Marth imagined himself ordering Link and Ike around the mansion and telling them to do all the chores. "I would be the most popular character in the series!" Marth imagined himself in a hot tub with Samus, Zelda and Peach. "Oh, yeah...." Marth ran deeper into the forest, excitement moving up and down his entire body.

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After 30 minutes of sprinting, Marth was tired. He stopped by a pond to gather himself. His acorn was in his pocket. "Man, why did I sprint for 30 minutes straight? I don't know much about exercise except for the fact that you have to do a lot of running," he said to himself. He looked at his reflection in the water. His face was scratched up from the stupid squirrel. "When I get my hands on that thing...." Marth splashed water into his face. "Much better." He looked around the small pond. No one was here, not even any animals...or squirrels. The pond must have been at least 5 feet deep. "I could use a bath anyway." Marth took off all his armor and under clothes (with the acorn) and laid them on a nearby tree stump. He jumped into the cool, refreshing water. "Ah..." He was so hot form running that steam was rising out of the pond. "I don't know what Link was so upset about. Life in the wild isn't so bad." Marth imagined Link on the ground crying after he lost the bet. "Told you so, told you so, told you so!" Marth heard himself say. He relaxed his muscles and looked up at the clear blue sky. "This is easy! Is that all you've got?! Challenge me!" he yelled straight up in the air. So birds flew overhead, surprised by Marth's loud voice. He smiled. "This is easy..."

He heard a rustling sound coming from the stump where he put his clothes. A lone bandit in blue (the one's from Yoshi's Island or Paper Mario if you know what they are) was rummaging through Marth's belongings. Marth instantly recognized him as a bandit and pulled half his body out of the water. "Hey! Get away form those!" The bandit noticed Marth and grabbed what he could and made a run for it into the forest. By the time Marth got to the stump, the bandit could not be heard. "Great..." he thought. "Robbed and lost in a forest..." All that the bandit left was Marth's cape and boots. Marth looked down at the ground to see his precious acorn sitting by it's lonesome. He picked it up. "Aw, why am I so mad? With you, I could buy a million swords!" Marth laughed and put on his boots. He wrapped the cape around his waist and slid the nut into his right boot. The sun was going down. I must have been about 6:00. "Alright, just about halfway there." Marth walked away into the forest.

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A few hours passed and Marth was still wandering the forest. He hadn't found Ike or any traces him. The forest was scary at night. "This isn't camping! This is me lost in the woods!" Marth yelled up at the dark sky. The sky replied back to him.

"This is supposed to be a story about camping! That run-in you had with the squirrel and bandit wasn't supposed to happen. You ruined the entire fanfiction you fool!" Marth was stunned to hear a huge low voice talking back to him.

"Who are you?" he asked. The big voice in the sky stuttered.

"I-uh-I...um...I'm you're conscience, yes that's it...um...wish upon a star and all that other crap...um...yeah." Marth gave a puzzled look.

"Wait a second, I already have a conscience! It tells me to follow my instincts!"

"You're not very good at that."

"If you're not my conscience...then you must be...the narrator!" The voice made no reply. "Hey! Answer me! I want to know how the story ends!" Marth shouted.

Suddenly a wild bear jumped out of the darkness in front of him. "Ahh! Hey! Call back the bear! Narrator guy with the big voice! Are you there?! Listen to me! Stop this now!" Marth cried. It was no use. The voice made no reply because the narrator thought it would be funny to see Marth get raped by a bear. "What??!!!" screamed Marth. The bear jumped towards Marth. He ran away as fast as he could. "I'll get you for this!" he cried. The bear was in close pursuit. Marth looked behind him to see the dark brown eyes of lust looking at him. "No!" The cape he had wrapped around him was making it harder for him to run. "NO!!" The bear was almost touching Marth's body. "NO!!!! I'll kill you when I get out of here! You here me?! I'll kill you!" The voice in the sky laughed.

"You can try Marth, but I'm in control of the story!"

The bear lunged with it's claws. Marth barely dodged, but tripped on the soft dirt. "Ah!!" He fell forward and hit his head off a tree branch, Konk! knocking him out cold. The bear stopped running and grabbed Marth's feet. It then proceeded with dragging Marth's body back to it's cave.

Oh yeah, and Marth's cape fell off his body, but the acorn was still clenched in his hand.

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Marth struggled to open his eyes. Why was he so tired? Why was he so warm? Did he die? Was he in heaven? All his questions were soon answered when he woke up to find a large, heavy, brown blanket covering his nude body. The blanket was emanating some kind of heat. "Ow, my head..." Marth started. He tried to sit up, but the weight of the blanket held him down. "Where am I?" Marth looked around. The ground was made up of smooth rock and dirt. The walls were dark and damp. The sun's morning rays seeped in from the large hole in the wall. The blanket was snoring heavily. Marth froze, his eyes getting wide. He realized where he was. He knew that the warm blanket covering him was not a blanket, but a bear. A huge, brown bear. Marth struggled to get out from under the heavy fur coat. He did not want to wake up the sleeping bear. He slowly slid across the ground as the bear arm fell off him gently. He stood up and realized he was naked. "You got to be kidding me..." The bear started to get awake, which made Marth flinch, but it went back to sleep again.

"Whew."

Marth picked up the 'priceless' nut off the ground and ran out of the cave. "Ugh, what a night. I can barely remember anything..." Marth struggled to remember. He remembered getting in an argument with an invisible man and being knocked out be tree. But everything after that seemed fuzzy. He stumbled his way through the bright forest, not even realizing that he had won the bet.

As he passed under a tree, he noticed a squirrel sitting on the very end, tears forming in it's eyes. "Aw, what do you want?!" Marth yelled at eh small 'beast'. The squirrel's sad face turned angry as it was soon joined by a whole army of squirrels on the branch. There must have been a least 50 of them, all looking down at Marth with the same face as the first squirrel. Marth ran. The squirrels gave chase. The ground was hurting beneath his feet. "Where are my boots?" he thought. "That bear didn't take them off, did it?" He looked behind to see the mass of fur hunting him down. "NOO!!" he cried. His feet were hurting really bad as he ran over stones and twigs. One of the squirrels leaped and grabbed Marth's ankle. "Get off!" But it was no use. The monster wouldn't let go. Marth began to slow down and soon more squirrels jumped on his body and bit and scratched him until he was down on the ground. They continued to bite him. He struggled to escape but it was no good. "I gonna die! Oh God I'm gonna die here! Murdered by beasts of the forest!" Marth screamed. Suddenly, he heard a voice.

"Stop!!" it said.

All the squirrels fled Marth's bleeding body and ran away. Marth looked up to see the face of someone he knew too well.

"Ike?" Ike looked down at him.

"Friends of yours?"

Marth did not laugh at his joke. Ike helped him to his feet. "Um, where are you're clothes?" Marth remembered that he was totally naked and tried to cover himself with his hands and the acorn.

"They, um, got stolen from me by a bandit."

"Uh...huh..."

Marth did not look at Ike in the eyes. He was too ashamed. One who once was a great prince of Altea was now reduced to this. A poor, bleeding sack of sadness. Ike gave Marth his cape to cover himself.

"Let's go home."

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Link stood at the front door of the Smash Mansion, looking out into the forest. "There's no way he survived that. Not without his sword or makeup." He waited for awhile before seeing two figures emerge form the trees. One of them was a strong young man with a sword on his back. The other was hunched over with nothing covering himself but a red cape. He seemed banged up pretty bad. "No way..." said Link. Ike and Marth walked up the steps. Link was stuck for words. "I...um...congratulations! You proved that you can survive a day in the woods. So did you have fun camping?"

Marth looked at him with an evil stare. He grabbed Link by the collar and threw him down the stairs. Ike's cape fell off in the sudden movement.

"Whoa, Marth, take it easy," said Ike trying to calm his friend down. Marth looked at his hand and realized that he was still holding the acorn. His face lit up.

"I'm rich!" he yelled. Marth ran inside the mansion. He ran past Pit and Zelda who were talking in the living room. They both froze on the spot with their mouths dropped to the floor. Pit was the first one to speak.

"Um, did Marth just-"

"Don't," interrupted Zelda. Marth burst through into Master Hands office door.

"Master Hand! Master Hand! Look what I found!" Master Hand turned in his seat at the naked swordsman.

"Marth? Um why are you-"

"Long story, but look! I found a treasure! Now I'm rich!" Marth slammed the nut onto the desk in front of Master Hand. Master Hand examined it.

"You're kidding me, right?" was his reply.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

Ike called Marth from the front of the mansion. "Hey Marth! There's a bear out here! She says she's looking for her sweetheart and wants to give him back his boots!"

-

And that's how Marth proved to Link that he was not a spoiled brat.

And after that, Marth and the bear got married and had 6 kids. Just kidding!

**The End**

**Smash King24: There! I'm done!**

**Marth: What was that all about? That wasn't even about camping!**

**Smash King24: Well it was supposed to be until you had to be so stupid and get robbed by that bandit! That was not how I planned the script!**

**Sonic: Sonic's the name, speed's my game!**

**Marth: Shutup! You're not part of this conversation!**

**Sonic: ...**

**Marth: Couldn't you have at least made me more heroic in the story? I mean, I **_**am**_** one of the sexiest characters in Brawl.**

**Smash King24: I was trying to make it funny! I'm sorry Marth, but you're not funny.**

**Marth: Grr.... Okay, that's it! This is for making be get raped by that bear! (Punches Smash King24 in the stomach)**

**Smash King24: Ow!**

**Marth: And this is for making me get gang beaten by squirrels! (Kicks Smash King24 in the face)**

**Sonic: Hey guys! I'm back!**

**Marth: (Shoots Sonic in the face with a gun.)**


End file.
